Some Absorbing Errand

July 23, 2016

True happiness we are told, consists  getting out of oneself, but the point is not only to get out- you must stay out; and to stay out you must have some absorbing errand.”

-Henry James, from “Roderick Hudson”

 

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Let the record show

 

Too wretched still/ 2 weeks sans coastal sunsets/

To wreath Night’s long door/  I long for

The right time alone  & wait &

As I wait/ I’ll eliminate/ obvious suspects

Crowding my space I’ve longed for/

To my credit the thing about editing out

All the non essential/ It’s Everywhere/

A lot easy to pivot w/pen  then slice there/

I thot I can stick to plans/

Mic down the music some/ work that blinds slats/

Then I’ll recede that

Loveleaking hand off a needy cat and/

Speaking of love, lean forward & force

A poem to her.

GUTS FOR LOVE (revisited)

September 30, 2015

 

REFUSING  DAWN  and    GUTS  FOR  LOVE

i)
I can Recognize, but hell,  I can’t Realize so well.
I’d drink more coffee but my cardiologist insists I don’t
I’d drink more coffee but my heart man prescribes “not so smart, man”.

I’d think more whiskey would push me to bask at last in a primal light,

but my general practitioner generally frowns about practicing until I get it right.

I’d read more but eyes see less.. I digress,

I’d come 2/pray more/give in/give more/dream-sleep in/weep for once/

walk the lit dark like I used to/ take the darklight I’ve refused to.

I can Recognize, but hell,

I don’t Realize so well.

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ii)

Right away I’ve forgiven

What I’ve been given.

I might say I’ll take it

What I might now have.

I’ve taken my lot, my vacant lot.

And I’ll water down the ardent growths

That break through spots, my weakest spots.

I’ll wander down the advent of loss.

I’ll instill my wander  with intent.

I’ll start to still instill my wander with intent.

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(from 2009 & 2010)

 

 

 

“If you’re really listening, if you’re awake to the poignant beauty of the world,
you’re heart breaks regularly” -Andrew Harvey
since I’ve always remedied the conscious agonies of knowing the world is filled with misery with a simple
but there is beauty in the world.
a child smiles in one of those shopping cart seats in a grocery store, one of those secret connection smiles,simple innocent soul to burdoned soul and I’m AOK for a moment.

 

 

 

SOME ABSORBING ERRAND

September 24, 2015

True happiness we are told, consists  getting out of oneself, but the point is not only to get out- you must stay out; and to stay out you must have some absorbing errand.”

-Henry James, from “Roderick Hudson”

.

Too wretched still/ 2 week without coastal sunsets

To wreath Night’s long door/  I long for

The right time alone  & wait &

As I wait/ I’ll eliminate/ obvious suspects

Crowding my space I’ve longed for/

To my credit the thing about editing out

All the non essential/ It’s Everywhere/

A lot easy to pivot w/pen  then slice there/

I can stick to plans/

Mic down the music some  & blinds slats/

I’ll recede that

Loveleaking hand off a needy cat and/

Speaking of love, lean forward & force

A poem to her.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THE SUNRISE SCENE FOR FAR ABOVE THE CUTTING ROOM FLOOR
near the end
purple clouds stir & near
mis-en-scene set, I’ll be blocking the shot
readying my stand-ins
cueing my soundtrack
I’ll need special effects to capture the light
to be faithful to the script
years ride past alongside our precious bond/
then one moment  one light courses through  brighter than  other rays onto…
she had signed off  (often)   onto a missive
with
(I leaned forward & forced  this life
To really read)
.
“Love”.

 

 

 

 

 

 

“The woman I’m thinking of, she loved me all up
But I’m so down today
She’s so fine, she’s in my mind.
I hear her callin’.

See the lonely boy, out on the weekend
Trying to make it pay.
Can’t relate to joy, he tries to speak and
Can’t begin to say.”

— from Neil Young’s ‘Out On The Weekend’

Impalpable

August 11, 2014

Neruda’s ” impalpable ash”

Chants away/

In the fray of my own tiny ruins.

.

If I touch/ near the fire/

Impalpable ash..”

Chimes away/

And supports the clearing away  all

Insubstantial,

Makes way to take less blinding steps away

From  cave  to  climax

I’ve come to have left out

Crucial  rescue  tools

From my matutinal

Lost-combination locked bag of tricks.

In touch  information

Out

I’VE IVORY

July 18, 2014

 

  

 

Shiny gold pen when an old

Shade-off light bulb

(it can be a candle)

Best  Klieg-lights this  crèche ,

Best showcases this birthplace.

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On my knees

To lure verities,  (surely,  scour our trees)

To cure maladies,

Wrest fallacies from unsound foundations,

Whisper one less lonely

Wise,  recognizable incantation.

Take this shiny gold pen…!

.

It’s nearby,  go forth,  go further.

I clear my path,

&  Go over…

&  I’ve  Ivory!

Simba’s  mammoth  cemetery!

(they must go deep)

Precious sunned bones poised on  as symbols

Archetexture   actually

I take a sacred see of symmetry

.

Even I’m

Silent Partner in this stronghold.

Before I go on,

I’ll go on & make sure

The blinds are drawn.

.

.

When I’m

Aware/Awake It’s gone cold,

For me to know it,

I’ll go on & need you some

I’ll go on & remind me some

I’ll go and turn my life down some

I’ll sit myself down until

I’ll see myself still enough

To behold

You, me, both,

Silent partners in this stronghold.