a bad fall at the stables

August 28, 2018

this disastrous matter is
unexpected of course
a bad fall at the stables
the first thing you whispered to my ear on your chest
once the breathing apparatuses were out
was that  it wasn’t LB’s fault

I’ll have you home alone for some time.
for now I’ll go home alone
Another old thing
I might say  I might tope me some

it might this night help me cope some
another old thing
I’ll bust out hope  just a modicum


February 27, 2018

“Ill  at  ease”

Will be one accurate way,

When  I can think then straight about it,

One apt way to shout it.

They  say  they

“Say it as it is”, (they’re pissed)

They say  ” just being honest, man”

“No B.S.  man” (slurring pissed)

They’re weak to only “speak their minds”.

And when I,

Gently as I can,

Retranslate to that guttural, but frank tongue,

I  see

They’re consequently


&  then there’s me  in this blinding  open lot

W/blood on my shirt.


May 23, 2017


Still nights I will not change I will cringe

I’m tightly bound to make  my inner fringe

Break down  in private next door rooms

They’ll up & drop tears  from my say  they assume

I’ve meant no harm  though my charm

Might be misplaced /  an anvil fills my frail arms






“The Artist’s Dream” by Emil Holarek

Emil Holarek


April 21, 2016

For the most part I’m all right with what resides inside my heart

Though now & then I can hear again that yr leery  nearly often

You can’t soften unrest  with yr  kinda kindness


Most of the past  I must confess

Trying love  It’s true I’ve been clueless

But i guess now  I know  I guess

That one oughtn’t wait  to not hate

All what’s more hard to tolerate


It can happen   to evaporate

I dreamt I opened a door onto a stranger

Her chest hurt, she showed her best she wasn’t in danger

I dreamt I waited to turn at a corner

Onto deep/ditched road, well before I could warn her

She lost control of her sportscar, four arcs

Into sleep/filled woods. unsteady long legs started

Out, hurt, and startled me to  dream move  to

Both strangers to tend to them, and love too




“I don’t stand this, no distancing..”

My soulfull chest and best intentions,

“O ..Further along & farther away”.

After it’s hurting time

It’s certain we’re down

From where we may

& nearer the day we’re done.




At, um, elevenish,

a trumpet dumbs up & slows down

that pendulum wiper Swish

(a trying heaven’s muted trumpet)

goes down to ease up at least this town swish

& that conundrum  That one goes down



my vitals are stabler/ I’ll stay more at peace/

I’ll stay here

while  rain & dark run on

on down some


February 3, 2014

I’m so sore I’m sure to call out

And I suppose   surprize them

That’ll  alert them to my hurt

An open wound now

I’ll flinch & grimace

& limp away as surprized as Lazereth

Aware of all this all again


.(from 2011)
.for Phillip, Rest in peace