There’s this secret I’ve kept  so discreet
From lovers, & brothers, & mothers.
I’ve mis managed to become  so mum
It was only clearer to me
After self therapy
The other day, or another.
.
From this encompassing dream,
I finally wanted
All the solid things I was sold to get,
When it’s important to want one.
.
I Get
Silk batik ties, Italian silk shirts,
Dead men’s tweed jackets,
Dry cleaned, & all in the closet.
.
I Wait For And Get
Too new Peter & P.J., Gabriel and Harvey,
Unheard of, they’re still in their jacket.
Too new Laurie Anderson, Richard Thompson,
Unheard of, they’re still in their jacket.
.
I Waited For & Get a
Big Bio book of Elliott Smith,
and the case is still closed
.
I Get
New Yorker’s
Drawings & Captions
All of them (All these years)
Data on disc
unplayed & unsmiled to. (sadly)
I Got
New Yorker’s
Drawings & Captions
The Board Game…
.
..
Why I With-hold
All that pleasure,
I haven’t a clue.
It’s half-like half-holding love
At arm’s length,
& watching it do

.

.

.

.

.                                                               (FROM 10 YEARS BACK)

DON’T LOOK BACK

December 23, 2018

humour me
it’s surely not insurmountable
humour me
I concur it’s not as easy as
glossy magazines face-up on coffee tables
it’s what I really want for christmas
it’s what I really want for my wish to go
for when stars shoot, for my pennies deep in a well,
when a haytruck passes–Don’t Look Back! aw hell
I guess it’s a day way more serious
it’s a night  more so

NEW DEAL

September 2, 2018

If our fog lifts

Like tired old myths

The ones “old salts”

Sing about at seaside public vaults

Never locked  They’re never locked

It’s best. I better work this new deal

The wording has wounds, needs doctoring

How long will you allow me here?

If our fog lifts

My table and window will clear.

 

F L I N T

August 30, 2018

In the “quiet time” the hospital designates

When visitors gotta go

Ok so I opened a Modelo

& vacuumed the space between the davenport

& the coffee table where you like us to eat

& dared some dreams of arson

Oh I sat easy enough at one half of a love seat

I wouldn’t want  to reread Kant

On  Duty  and  Obligation

I’d doubt he’d sway me

His hard ass way

The escape  dreams prefer are fire escapes

 

Go get only things you can carry

Stand up straight  Cast straight shadows

One effin  flick of flint

Can  brighten  bad  roads

 

 

S I D E D O O R

July 23, 2018

I’ve got it.

If I  got floating.

I can float forever.

(“and when I want to act…”)

I can float forever & a day.

It’s harder than it looks.

Don’t be taken in by talk gone bad.

(“and when I want to act”)

there’s an exit stage  left

 

 

June 21, 2018

“I see today that everyone on earth
wants the answer to the same question
but none has the language to ask it.”

– Jim Harrison

.

.

.

I’ll swear I’ll answer

To some other

Gruesome monster

Than me,

& my gal,

Higher powers,

Et  al

In fact I’ll face up

Soon as the sun’s up

NIGHT SWEATS

June 3, 2018

“I feel my failure intensely
as if it were a vital organ”
– Jim Harrison

.

.

 

It’s more than coincidence how

That “pillow” rhymes with  “shadow”.

If I had to,

& the sense  to know,

I’d set dark dreams aside.

If I lied some, & thought things

As tied up,

I’d fake it some, I’d hope

For another wide enough break,

& more loose rope,

& this broken cup

I hold my spirits up.

.

.

.

 

 

 

…but from here;  a boxed baggage bin,

in whatever vessel burning,

Point on  into blank,  frigid  forths.

Andever vexed in yearning.

 

Blind Pilgrims; taxed temporal things

Kinshipbourne, trapped, as my fathers.

Captive on this  course, We’re  bound to be,

Forlorn,  for treks  on farther.

 

 

 

 

from many years ago, for  Daddy

 rest in peace, b.3/21/29-d.5/29/59

FREE MAPS

April 17, 2018

 

For now, awhile, I won’t let you pull me from the wreckage

Still, how  you hold my hand, to still both of us

Until the jaws of life  arrives.

Tho’ I’m not at a loss of words, I’m lost

In thought. “I’m lost”, I thought.

Perhaps the filling station’s free maps

Forbid us from the hidden costs.

 

ON WAITING FOR CHANGE

January 31, 2018

between  my  matins

& the very next dawn’s

last ditch whispers,

pleas

Elucidating  light  is  just  off.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“There’s nothing good because nothing lasts
And all that comes here, it comes here to pass.
I would voice my pain, but the change wouldn’t last.
All that comes, it comes here to pass.”

                                                         AVETT BROTHERS, from “Down With The Shine”